An instruction manual for men
Understanding
the woman
in your life.
A no-nonsense guide on how to succeed in relationship — from a psychotherapist with forty years of clinical experience working with men.
by Dr Steve Vinay Gunther
The premise
Want to know how to make your woman happier and more satisfied?
If you hear a mate — or yourself — saying "we had such a good relationship, and then she just upped and left" you can be 100% certain that's only 50% of the story. Something was wrong. It just wasn't noticed until too late.
This book is about noticing before it's too late, and doing something about it. It's also about being proactive — preventing problems from developing in the first place.
Here is what to do:
- 1. Read the book.
- 2. Follow the instructions.
Dr Steve Vinay Gunther
Psychotherapist & author
Why listen to me?
Do I have the perfect relationship? No. But I walk my talk — and work hard at it.
- 01A great deal of learning from having failed a few times around.
- 02Knowledge from practicing and teaching therapy.
- 0340 years of clinical experience.
- 04Working with men's issues since the 1980s.
A little more about me
I'm a psychotherapist, educator and writer. I've been in private practice since the 1980s, working with individuals, couples and families — trained in Gestalt, family therapy, narrative therapy, family constellations, NLP and somatic work. I hold a PhD on the interpersonal dynamics of power.
I founded the Northern Rivers Gestalt Institute in Australia and ran it for seventeen years. These days I live in China with my partner Sita, and travel regularly to teach in the US, Mexico, Egypt, South Africa and Japan.
I have five children and five grandchildren. My father is a transsexual woman — which is part of why I've spent a lifetime a lifetime interested in the complexity of our inner worlds.
Before therapy I did theatre and clowning, street performance and community activism. I've also run a vegetarian cafe, a signwriting business and a food co-op along the way.
Inside the book
Fifty-one short chapters. One honest conversation.
From the everyday — money, work, domestics — to the unsaid — boundaries, jealousy, fidelity, real friendship. Sample two chapters free.
- 01Cry Me a River
- 02The Keys
- 03Oral Sex: Expressing Yourself
- 04Women's Wisdom
- 05Aural Sex: The Art of Listening
- 06A Common Language
- 07The Bottom Line: Who Are You
- 08The Blessing of Criticism
- 09Liberating Questions
- 10The Trap
- 11Appreciation
- 12Tests
- 13Magic Words
- 14Empowerment
- 15Peas in a Pod
- 16The Bitch
- 17Expectations
- 18Family of Origin
- 19Dead but Not Forgotten
- 20Resistance (Trying Is Lying)
- 21Thinking in Circles
- 22Really Losing It
- 23Boundaries and Limits
- 24Mind Reading
- 25Domestics
- 26Work
- 27Fun
- 28Money
- 29Spirituality
- 30Give and Take
- 31Missing
- 32Romance
- 33Chivalry
- 34Sex: Your Head, Your Ear and Your Mouth
- 35Sex: Ten Tips
- 36The Female Body
- 37Pairs and Triangles
- 38Fidelity
- 39Jealousy
- 40Ethics
- 41Straight From the Hip
- 42Real Friends
- 43Too Much Substance
- 44Commitment
- 45Nearing the End
- 46Feminism
- 47Fighting
- 48Abuse
- 49Around and Around
- 50Responsibility
- 51Quick Quiz
Acclaim
"With astonishing insight he gives clear, down-to-earth practical instructions on the most important fundamentals of successful relationship."
"Excellent, easy-to-read, useful and theoretically sound. Practical advice without new-age gloss or ego — a real joy to read and learn from."
Order the book
One small step toward a better relationship.
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$9
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After payment you'll be emailed the PDF within 24 hours. Prefer another method, or need the print edition (US$39, postage paid) or a translation? Email me directly.